Tuesday, January 10, 2012

We Wish You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year



I'd like to dedicate this blog post to Elizabeth. It breaks my heart that Olive will never have the chance to meet you. You will be a constant reminder for us to live each day to its fullest, and to love one another with everything we have. You will live in our hearts forever. We love you.




Hi Everyone! It's me, Olive the Other Reindeer. Get it? Like from the song? You know, laughing, name-calling, and then ultimately loving Rudolph and shouting out with glee when he guides Santa's sleigh through the fog? I've told my mom these puns on my name are getting a little ridiculous. She promises this year's Christmas card is the last one.


Well, my parents had the good sense to take my advice in my last post and decorate the house for Christmas. Mom quickly ordered us stocking from Amazon (she LOVES any opportunity to order something from Amazon) and hung them on the fireplace.



Uncle Daniel picked us up a Christmas tree and even delivered it to our door. Thanks for compensating for my slacker parents, Uncle Daniel. I'm surprised Mom didn't ask you to decorate it, too.



Mom's family came to visit us for the holiday, but somehow, no one managed to take any pictures of me with my Granna, Grandad, or Monkey Cam! I guess I'll have to paint you a mental image. Well, my Grandad was so excited to see me. He was always willing to give me a cuddle, and he seemed genuinely impressed with my ability to hug back and my general dexterity. Granna enjoyed rocking me and telling lots of funny stories (when Grandad would let her have a turn). As for Monkey Cam, well, let's just say he loves me from a distance.



We went to Auntie Brie's house to open presents on Christmas morning. Boy, was it exciting! In fact, I was so overwhelmed with the spirit of giving, I conked out and slept right through my first Christmas morning. Mom figured since I was so little, she didn't need to go overboard on gifts for me. She got me a few board books and some mini-bottles of hand sanitizer for my diaper bag. (If you know my mom, this will not surprise you at all.) Well, Daddy really showed her up by getting me an iPod touch with a docking station, and one of those fancy action cameras. He told mom she could hook it to my jogging stroller when we go for runs... Cause who wouldn't want to watch footage of that?... (pin drop. crickets.) I've decided to let Mom borrow my Touch while I work on mastering my fine motor skills. In the meantime, here a few pics of me cheesing it up for the camera:


I've been told I have very expressive eyebrows:


The camera even takes pictures from either side for self portraits. Mom didn't want me to use this picture because she doesn't have on a stitch of makeup, but I'm going to anyway. We were both pooped.



The holidays are a great time to visit with friends and loved ones. We started early by attending my friend Elena's birthday party. The theme was "Fancy Nancy". Dad was excited to wear his tuxedo for the second time in two years. To a three-year-old's birthday party. Seriously. Mom wore elbow-length gloves and a feathered hairpiece. Aren't I a little young to be thoroughly embarrassed by my parents in public?

My social calendar was quite full, and next we attended Kelly's ornament exchange party. Kelly is an old friend of my Auntie Brie's. Mom says she is pretty much the nicest person she's ever met. (Just read her comments on my blog if you need proof.) When Kelly was complimenting me and telling me what a little miracle I was at her party, I answered with a loud and emphatic toot. Needles to say, my party manners could use some fine-tuning. Here I am posing with Auntie Brie in front of Kelly's Christmas tree. Doesn't she look beautiful?!



Speaking of Auntie Brie, we've been hanging out with her A LOT. I just really love my cousins, Jamie and Caroline. Look at these two swashbucklers... What's not to love?


Jamie keeps us endlessly entertained. Here is is strutting around in Mom's boots:


It's even cuter from behind. You may have noticed that Cousin Jamie is wearing big-boy-underpants. Way to go, James!

James is quite the talker, and here's some footage Mom took of him chatting us up. We'd better not let my daddy see it, or he might impose another 28-day ban:





I can't wait until I'm big enough to ride Uncle Daniel with my cousins!




My Aunt Muihri stayed with us for two weeks, and boy was it fun having her around. She would do anything to keep me happy, and I mean ANYTHING. One time, I got her to cluck "I'm a Little Teapot" for about 10 straight minutes. What a sucker. Here we are cuddling:


Aunt Muihri's boyfriend, Nigel, came to pick her up and take her back to D.C. Aunt Muihri was pretty sad to leave me.


And you know what a softie I am... If I see someone else crying, it gets me started, too...



We also spent time with my dad's family. First, my Great-Grandparents-Gilland came to see me. They brought lots of goodies, and a beautiful quilt made especially for me by their friend, Susie. She hand-stitched the whole thing!
I really love it, and so does my mom. She has told me that I am absolutely NOT allowed to throw up on it.


Thanks so much for visiting me, Grandmom and Grandad!


The next time they came, they brought Daddy's parents, too! We had a lovely dinner, and I dazzled the masses with my sweet smiles and coos. Here I am with my Grandma Angie. (We are still deciding what I'm going to call her. Suggestions are welcome!)

Here I'm hanging with Daddy and Gramps:

The apple sure didn't fall far from the tree... I really love my dad.


One more with Gramps. I'm chilling in my diaper because I peed on my first outfit, spit up all over my second, and pooped on the third. I'm multi-talented.

Here I am with my Great-Grandmom-Porter. My middle name is Evelyn after Great Grandmom, and she really loves me a lot.
On the way home from visiting Daddy's family, we stopped to see Daddy's friend and fishing buddy, Jack. Jack knew my Dad when I was just a twinkle in his eye. He shall henceforth be referred to as "Uncle Jack."




My mom and I visited my friend, Connor, and his mommy, Leah. Our moms went to high school together. It was pretty cold that day, so I bundled up well before going out.


Connor is two months older than me, and he was even smaller than I was when he was born. He sure has made up for that, because this guy looks like he could be my body guard! My Grandad would call him " a barrel-chested-little-thing."



Speaking of growing, I've done quite a bit myself, as evidenced by the picture below.


I'm officially bigger than my caterpillar, finally.


My hair is getting even longer and more luxurious:

I'm spending a lot more time awake, alert, and playing:


Here is some video footage showing how active I've become:









I'm even chipping in with some of the housework. I gotta earn my keep around here.

Well, I suppose that's quite a lot for one little blog post. I'm going to wrap this up. This week I'm going to visit My Great-Grandparents-Leggat. I also get to meet some of Mom's cousins and their kids, and a few great Aunts, too. It should be pretty exciting. I can't wait to blog about it. Until then, love and kisses to all my blog-followers!

xoxo-
Olive



Friday, December 9, 2011

It's Me, Olive!

Quick disclaimer: If you subscribe to The Porterly Report via email, please go to the actual blog when it's updated rather than reading it from your inbox. The formatting in email is off, and you may miss some pictures and video. Here is the address:

www.theporterlyreport.blogspot.com

Hey, guys! It's me, Olive! While you're at it, why not bookmark my blog in your favorites? Well, tomorrow I will be seven weeks-old. Can you believe it?! My mom keeps trying to bargain with me to stop growing up and to stay her little baby, but I have other plans. I'm a mover and a shaker, folks... except during nap time. Recently, my mom had to pack up all my newborn clothes because I am growing like an adorable little weed. I have long legs, like my dad (I pretty much got everything from that guy) and I've moved into the exciting stage of 0-3 months. I've gained about 50% of my original body weight since I was born, and I'm weighing in at a hefty 9ish pounds. Mom calls me her "little chunk of bologna." I'm not sure I like this nickname so much... Here's a picture of me in my first 0-3 month outfit. It was the first sleeper mom bought me before she knew I was a girl, but fortunately, I look great in yellow. Most brunettes can't pull it off, but then again, I'm not "most brunettes," now am I?

I'm gaining all this weight because I'm a really good eater. I'm also a really good spitter-upper. Actually, spitting up is an understatement for what I can do. There's nothing like hosing down your folks with some partially-digested milk when you're up for a laugh. Usually, Mom is on the receiving end of my little joke, but last week I got my dad pretty good. He literally screamed, "Help! Help!" to get my mom to come running from the other room. Before she did "help," though, she insisted on snapping a picture MUCH to my dad's dismay. The good news is, I really love my bath time, so this is a good way to get my mom to bathe me on days when she's not supposed to. I've got it all figured out... I'm advanced. Here I am enjoying my bath just this morning. Thanks, Mom, for your discretion in cropping out my lady parts. I always cry when it's time to get out. Probably because I know my hair is going to look crazy. Here are some shots of what I look like post-bath. And the finished product: Wow, Mom. You should be a hand model. Intrude on my pictures, much? All this weight gain means I'm also getting too big for my newborn diapers. Fortunately, Granna made me a beautiful diaper cake with lots of size one diapers. I plan to make short work of them. My mom hated to take the diaper cake apart, so she took this picture so we could remember it always: My Granna loves me so much, she even hand-painted all the owls and the birdhouse on my cake. It was quite a production. Granna came to visit me last weekend, and we got in lots of good cuddle time. Granna's friend, Liz Apple, made me this cool hat. I've been told I pretty much look like the cutest thing ever in it. Being such a sweet baby means I am constantly showered with wonderful tokens of affection. Just yesterday, my grandad sent me a Bonsai tree. He wrote me a letter explaining that, like me, it will need to be carefully cultivated. Get it? I'm the tree and my parents are the gardeners. It's a metaphor... I'm advanced. It also came with a thick book entitled, 101 Essential Bonsai Tips: Breaks down the subject into 101 easy-to-grasp tips. Now I may be new to this whole thing, but if there are 101 tips, it hardly sounds "easy". That's cool, Grandad. I'm up for the challenge. But apparently no one told you that my mom doesn't have much of a green thumb (or any other green fingers) so you may want to give her some hints. Here I am on my beautiful "Eye-Spy" quilt Great Grammy made me. I could play for MINUTES (which in baby-time is pretty long, as far as attention spans go) on this thing. Each strip of fabric is different and it gives me lots of fun things to look at while I play with all my developmentally-appropriate toys.
My mom also got a new toy two weeks ago... It's called an elliptical machine. Sometimes I even nap long enough for her to use it. Mom says it's going to help get her "badonk-a-donk back in business." She's a little nervous about meeting all of Daddy's new co-workers at the Holiday party tomorrow. She told dad she was going to introduce herself by saying, "I just had a baby 7 weeks ago. I don't normally look like this!" To which Dad replied, "You still have time." Dad! You dope! You were supposed to say, "You already look fantastic, honey. I'm going to be the luckiest guy at that party!" I'm only seven weeks-old, and I even knew this one! Speaking of napping, my mom was able to capture the following on video. Sometimes, I like to sleep with my eyes open, and roll them around. (Dad thinks it's a little freaky.) This is also when I do some of my BEST smiles. Please enjoy:

Well, I think that about catches us up. For now, I'm looking forward to my first Christmas. It'd be nice if my folks put up some decorations. You have a baby now, for crying out loud! Show a little holiday spirit. Hang some stockings or something! Sheesh!
Signing off,
Olive



Monday, November 28, 2011

Dear Olive


Dear Olive,
As I’m typing this, you are sleeping so soundly on my chest, and I keep bending down to smell your warm baby scent and kiss your sweet forehead. You’ve been fussy this morning, and I’m happy for the excuse to drop everything else to snuggle my beautiful baby girl. Last night, I was struck by how much you have already changed since your birth. You’re just over five weeks old, and you’ve already gained over two pounds. Your little cheeks are full and round. Your lips form a perfect pink Cupid’s bow. Your eyes are the same sparkly blue as your dad’s, And Auntie Brie says you have “baby bird hair.” (Which, incidentally, is her favorite kind of baby hair.) You’re stunning, and I made your dad take pictures last night as you slept because I never want to forget how you looked at that very moment in your yellow giraffe pajamas. The love I feel for you is overwhelming at times.

I read an article yesterday that said people shouldn’t compliment little girls on physical attributes or tell them often that they are “beautiful” or “cute.” The reasoning is that they will be hard-wired to focus on looks from early on. The trouble is, Olive, you are already so gorgeous, people can’t help but notice and say so. I hope you aren’t plagued by the insecurities many girls seem to battle through adolescence and beyond… God knows I did. I think it took meeting your dad for me to finally feel comfortable in my own skin, because his love for me just as I was made it possible to stop nit-picking every little thing I didn’t like about myself, and change hopefully for the better. That’s not to say that I never self-criticize, but I hope someday you find someone who loves you for exactly who you are (other than your dad and me, of course).

But for now, you’re still my little baby. When I think of your future, I feel hopeful and excited for all that’s ahead of you. There is also a slight sadness that pulls deep in my stomach, because you won’t always be my tiny baby who wants nothing more than to be cuddled on my chest sleeping as you are right now. You’re already growing so fast. Today, when I went to change you, my favorite newborn outfit was too small, and I had to choose something else. It almost made me cry. Almost…

It’s hard for me to imagine that by the time you can read this, I’ll love you even more than I do right now. You are stretching, blinking, and trying to battle your way out of your nap, so I’d better wrap this up. I love you forever and always, my Olive.
-Mom




Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Introducing Olive Evelyn Porter

I apologize for the lag between blog posts, but we've had our hands full the last three weeks with our sweet baby girl. Olive Evelyn Porter was born on October 22, 2011 at 2:23 P.M. She weighed in at 6 pounds, 4 ounces, and she was 18.5 inches long.

This will be my last official blog post. Now don't get upset; I'm turning it over to the very capable hands of my brilliant daughter, Olive. If you ever see writing in a black font, that's me, Alise. The Green font will be Olive. This video is my final contribution to the blog. I wanted to hang on to the feeling of meeting our beautiful little girl for the first time, and this was the best way I knew how. Please enjoy.




Thanks, Mom... Kudos on the movie. I won't let you down on the blog. And thanks for the new board book you got me. I'm certain I will find it very useful as I navigate my way through html.



If you are reading this blog, then odds are you probably heard I got born. I was two weeks early, and mom says that's sort of like graduating high school in your sophomore year. I'm advanced.

There were a few cool things about my birth. For one, my Aunt Muihri decided at the last minute to come for a visit. Within five minutes of her arrival, Mom's water broke. Everyone tells you it isn't like the movies, but it totally was. When mom called to Dad to get something to help clean up, he grabbed the piddle pad Mom had under her sheets for the last couple weeks in case her water broke in bed... Silly Dad. Mom sent him for towels in the linen closet, but then scolded him for using her "good" towels. She's silly, too. Off to the hospital we rushed while Aunt Muihri swung by Auntie Brie's and scooped her up, too. We're so glad they were there to help. Mom and Dad were clueless when it came to dealing with contractions, so Auntie Brie coached them through it. Aunt Muihri kept Dad fueled on coffee and told lots of jokes to lighten the mood. It was quite an entourage as they all paced the halls through the night. I won't go into the rest of the gory details, but I finally made it here by 2:23 P.M. on Saturday, October 22nd. My Granna and Grandad made it just in time with Unckie Cam. I'm sure you could see in the video how excited everyone was to meet me.The next day, I even met my great grandparents on Dad's side. I have have eight great grandparents! Can you believe it?! Thank goodness my Granna stayed with us for the week after I was born. She cooked and cleaned up a storm so my mom and dad could just focus on me. Dad wasn't used to all those delicious home-cooked meals!

Let me real quick introduce you to my folks. This is my mom. We love each other A WHOLE LOT! Sometimes she gets nervous about being a first-time parent, but then she always reminds herself that if Gary and Amber from "Teen Mom" can do it, she sure as heck can! Mom has lots of silly names for me. When I start eating, she calls me her "little asthmatic warthog." If I'm crying, she calls me "baby terodactyl." Sometimes she even calls me her "tiny trombone"... I'll let you figure that one out.


Here's my Dad. He's the greatest! Everyone says I look just like him. We do both have some beautiful blue eyes and our second toes are longer than our hammer toes (another sign of intelligence, btw). Before me, he didn't even hold babies. But now, he jumps right in and does a great job taking care of me. We have a great cuddle-sesh every morning, and he calls me his human alarm clock. This morning I slept in and poor Daddy was late for work. Whoops! This is mom's favorite picture of us.



Mom agonized before I was born on whether or not she should spring for a photographer to do a newborn photo shoot. It can be pretty pricey... But mom and dad were so pooped the day after I was born, they were easily suckered into the way-overpriced pictures they take right there at the hospital. They will probably only ever be seen on this blog, so I sure hope it was worth the $171.00, Mom and Dad.









Mom still wanted some cheesy pictures with props, so she staged her own shoot a few days after getting home. When she emailed the pictures to my dad at work, he said, "What have you done to my baby?" Here are some of the pictures mom took:



What can I say? I do a lot of reading. I'm advanced.

Mom's friend, Emily, also came over to take some pictures of me, but those are going to be a surprise! Emily spoils me rotten and brings me lots of great presents. Here she is holding me for the very first time:


About five days after I was born, Mom took me out for the first time. Do you think she packed enough stuff?

I wasn't supposed to be born by Halloween, so Mom was ill-prepared in the costume department. She gave me a bath that day and wrapped me in my ducky towel and tried to call it a costume. Doesn't she know I'm half-Leggat and I take Halloween extremely seriously?! I've decided next year, we should be a tiger mom and baby. That means I have exactly one year to master the piano and the violin, and to learn Calculus. (You are a total dork if you get this joke.)

This is what my hair looks like after a bath. It's a little fluffy:

Mom was afraid trick-or-treaters might disturb my sleep, so she hung this sign on the door:

I was in bed before Goldilocks and the Three Bears showed up. Auntie Brie made Caroline's costume all by herself! Auntie Brie loves me almost as much as my mom and dad do.


You may be wondering what I do with my spare time when I'm not blogging. Excellent query! I have been practicing my tummy time, and I'm quite good at lifting my head up.

Pretty soon, I'll be even bigger than my caterpillar!

I go for walks.


Practice my "smug" face:

And as always, I enjoy a good cuddle.

Some exciting news on the home front is that my new baby cousin was born the other day on 11/11/11. What a cool birthday, Cousin Curren! Congratulations, Graham and Susy. I can't wait to meet you all. Here are a few shots of my new cousin:


This is Olive, signing off from my first ever blog post. See you next time!